Seeing Estranged Family At Funeral Reddit. Society expects us to feel sad and down when anyone dies, but for

Society expects us to feel sad and down when anyone dies, but for many, that just isn't the reaction that comes to the fore - especially with an estranged family member. My mother's younger sister and I were never really close, despite her being my godmother, but our families would vacation together every year and celebrated Christmas as a group. The only way I'd see it as disrespectful would be if you were bad-mouthing the deceased. Stanley "Stan" Pines (born June 15th[14] or 16th[15]), also known as Grunkle Stan and formerly under the assumed identity Stanford Pines,[9][3] is Dipper and Mabel Pines' great uncle and summer guardian, and a paternal uncle of Mr. They are raging against her on Reddit. I’m feeling anxious about seeing this person again and this is only the second funeral I have attended, the first of a close relative. See Funeral etiquette for immediate family: seating, duties, and what to do for language that normalizes this choice. I haven’t spoken to my parents since 2019, due to a pattern of abuse in my childhood unrelated to transphobia, but that’s icing on the cake for sure. I was estranged from my dad, but after seeing this sub, all I can think of is that one day one of my descendants might be trying to trace our family's roots and get caught on his obituary and be completely baffled as to why they left out three whole kids. I would like to share my grief and provide comfort to any family and friends that are willing to see things clearly. They don't know where I live, what I do for a living, anything about my own family (partner, children) or friends, how I look today, and they don't know what happened to me since they last saw or spoke to me around 40 years ago last century. Feb 11, 2022 · Stigma, alienation, and silence create fertile ground for misperceptions about sibling estrangement. I spent so much of my life hating someone and suddenly they weren't there to hate (not that they were there anyway). My parents were divorced and not on good terms when my dad passed away. We see Miranda briefly interact with one sister at the funeral and it isn’t pleasant, and we see the contrast between when she’s around the sister and when Carrie shows up. Apr 18, 2023 · The best place to begin planning a funeral with an estranged family is to meet with a reputable funeral home in your area today. In some cases, family members may even act out towards each other in anger to fill the void left by an estranged sibling — leading to more broken relationships and compounding trauma within the family. On the other hand, if you feel that you will be OK in going, then I think it would be nice of you to go and be with your family members during this time. I stopped seeing my mothers side of the family when I began transition. Now you could argue that, that was grieve speaking but it's been a few years now and all I've heard is threats directed towards me from my lovely family! I always imagined that one day, we would gather around as older folk under good terms. I'm going to be put in a situation where I have to see an estranged family member and I don't know what to do I cut my aunt off years ago due to trauma she inflicted on me and I have refused to talk to her since. Since I am no longer religious, the only funeral events I am reasonably comfortable with are secular memorial services. Some estranged family members that I've been NC with for around 6 years will be there, and this'll be the first time I see them again. The OP (Original Poster) explains that they are When is it OK to skip a close family member's funeral? Would you skip out on a sibling's final services? How about a parent? Mar 10, 2016 · Dear Abby: I’ve been estranged from my three siblings, their spouses and their families for 35 years — my choice. Mar 9, 2024 · My relative sadly passed away recently and the funeral will be in a few weeks. Now, the question is whether I should attend the funeral. 5th post in the Reddit r/AmItheAsshole sub-forum asks this question. A very young family member has died and I want to go to her funeral. It appeared to satisfy the family. He is the deuteragonist of the series. A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. Learn how to manage complex emotions and decisions with grace and safety. Aug 30, 2024 · When Bland, a journalist from London, became estranged from her family, in 2010, she found that social gatherings became awkward. Have any of you guys went through something like this. ) I’m realizing I may want to be estranged from most or all of them as they either continue abuse or are complicit in it. We haven’t spoke for a couple of years. Apr 10, 2023 · The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. On Reddit, the adult daughter detailed why she stood The other thing is that my family are obsessed with photos. 1 day ago · Woman Keeps Partner’s Accident Secret From Estranged Family To Shield Her New Life, Eventually They Find Out This has actually made other family members see how I was treated because they were like ‘wtf were they going on about???’ Also, preparing a massive pile of treats I like waiting at home with a binge show/movie helps We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I hated every moment. Jan 18, 2025 · The daughter refused to attend her estranged father's funeral but was shocked when she inherited everything in his will. And now it's the week after Thanksgiving, and my one sibling who I have a great relationship with told me that both of our parents were in the hospital. After many years of crime and infamy, he took up residence in the remote town of Gravity Falls, Oregon,[16] where he May 21, 2020 · Numbers are limited at funerals so if you haven't spoken to that side of the family they may have already 'filled' that number. Nov 21, 2020 · After an illness in the family I realized that I might be seeing her at a family funeral (uncle that I'm not close to but would like to go for cousins) and it got me thinking about how I would handle that. Nov 18, 2025 · Cutting ties with a sibling is devastating, even when it's a relief. " I had a good Thanksgiving with the family members who support me. But what happens when the person who has died was estranged from their family? What if their relationships were fractured, complicated, or even painful? Does everyone deserve a funeral? Sep 1, 2023 · Reddit user u/bridge2235 recently asked, "People who have adult children that don't talk to you, why do you think that is?" Many responses were sad and upsetting but often completely necessary. If you're unsure of what to say to the deceased's family, a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" is sufficient. It’s essential to understand the reasons behind the estrangement to begin repairing the relationship and re-establishing contact with your grandchildren. I was wondering if anyone may have some advice about how If you have been estranged from a family member, it is not automatically assumed that you will miss their funeral. Grandmother hasn’t had contact in three years. Grandmother is dying. Fast forward to today, he and my stepmother (who can see no wrong in anything my dad says or does) attended my mother in laws funeral. I’m fine with participating in group photos with the exception of one with my immediate family. Apr 11, 2023 · The news of the death of an estranged parent is something I found very hard to process and grieving the death of an estranged parent is very different to the loss of a present parent. Especially since they believe they're the victim in the estrangement and tend to spread lies about me. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, neglect, clashes based on personalities, or value systems like religion. Also, a funeral is a perfectly acceptable place to not smile. I blocked my parents and the family members who were "just trying to get me to see reason. With their guidance, you'll make the best of this situation and pay final respects to your shared loved one. Here is the why and how on making yours private. Feb 6, 2023 · Should Siblings Who Are Estranged Be Invited To One Another’s Funeral? A Feb. In my opinion, people don't have a right to see children family members just because they're related. Minor details changed for anonymity. I see the point of going for closure, but I see this just opening more wounds. Dec 27, 2022 · A man has been backed online for refusing to be part of his mother's funeral. I had to sit through my abuser eulogizing him and my aunts acting like they weren't actively tearing apart what was left of the family. (Mom won’t be there. He only lived a few miles away but made a new life with a new family. In a post shared on December 21 by Reddit user u/Pure-Device7446 that has since been deleted, the man explained his May 17, 2023 · Being estranged from an adult child who withholds contact with their grandchildren can be a challenging and heartbreaking experience for any parent. I attended the funeral, really only missing my grandfather who had passed 10 years before and was the nicest man you could ever meet, wondering how he’d had the patience with her long enough that I was ever even born. " Right, all those interactions with Miranda’s and Charlotte’s family members were insignificant or trivial. If you are considering whether or not to attend, ask yourself these questions: 1. Not everyone receives a white apron to keep - 2/5 of my Lodges don’t give one to new Masons. Being estranged is the single most relieving choice I've ever made. My aunts protected him just like they protected my dad and that was the last straw, I became estranged from them, too. A business partner delivered the eulogy, too. Perhaps it's because for me, I'm estranged from my mom, and she was adopted. com’s guidance on immediate family responsibilities highlights that it is appropriate to appoint a point person to answer questions and manage logistics when you are depleted. The decision to attend or not attend the funeralis a personal one and depends on many factors. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact If you feel that going to the funeral will bring up too many bad memories for you, then its OK not to go. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. From deathbed visits to funeral services and estranged relationships, here’s a warm, practical etiquette guide for supporting others through grief and loss. your estranged father should have been buried with his plain white apron onhis Past Master jewel should be returned to his Lodge as it is their property Jurisdictional. I pray that my own estranged family members have a friend in their lives at the end, to forgive them for the things I can’t forgive them for. I estranged myself from my family a decade ago; Grandmother is dying and I don’t know if I should visit/go to the funeral Throwaway, obviously. Oct 14, 2024 · When someone is estranged, they generally choose not to see or communicate with a family member at all for months, years, or decades. He died yesterday and funeral will be in a couple days. What I’m worried about is I don’t know any of my other side of the family (and I don’t want to know them) but they seem to know everything about me and my brother. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? Sep 7, 2018 · Even if you can’t reconnect with a family member, you can find wholeness in your own life, and pray that your family member does the same for themselves. I went to my grandpa's funeral willingly. He was living in another state and due to COVID I wasn’t able to see him or go to his funeral. So I have a lot of memories of them, knowledge of their histories, etc. 1460–1480) Europe experienced a period of dreadful calamities from the early 14th century. There will be a giant group family photo, a picture of the aunts/uncles, siblings, smaller family units… it’s basically the checklist for wedding photos in terms of variety. This has actually made other family members see how I was treated because they were like ‘wtf were they going on about???’ Also, preparing a massive pile of treats I like waiting at home with a binge show/movie helps Everything was going pretty smoothly. In some cases, a death can reconcile people who've been divided, and can reconnect those who were previously estranged or separated. Apr 14, 2025 · Planning a funeral or memorial service is like planning a wedding. I feel some sense of duty or guilt that I should attend. He had no funeral; if my own circumstances had been different, I might have liked to go to a funeral for closure and a sense of final resolution, but things are also fine as they are. We want closure, but we are not actively grieving him, just the life we could have had if he hadn't been who he was. Some people may feel nothing, just feeling completely hollow. May 4, 2025 · A grieving daughter is ‘suspicious’ about the way her estranged father acted at her mom’s funeral wake after she recently died of cancer. You will have done a lot of healing to get to where you are, and will most likely still need to do some more healing as many estranged adult children may never fully ‘recover’. I didn’t see my father when I was growing up, after the age of about 9. There has been no correspondence, and I have seen them only at our parents Feb 2, 2025 · Funerals are traditionally gatherings where family and friends come together to grieve, share stories, and say goodbye. You get closure by making it with yourself. The only family I truly care about is my nephews, and all I can do is continue to keep them in my life and look forward to when they're old enough to drive so that they can come to me and we can start having new, healthy family traditions. Nov 22, 2023 · Grieving Whatever the decision you make regarding your estranged family member, give yourself permission to grieve before and after they die – just as close family members would. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? How do you handle funerals? BACKGROUND: I've been estranged from my immediate family due to a toxic mother for a few years now. We originally posted not knowing if we HAD to invite her to the services. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? Receiving the news of estranged family member's death can affect us in so many different ways. You didn't do anything TL;DR My mom’s family is having a funeral for a deceased family member. Since my 20s (1980s), for the past around 40 years, I haven't seen or spoken to family. An estranged family member who I had quite a big falling out with will be there. My husband’s family are wonderful, as was my mother in law and they are all very close. The funeral sounds like it would be isolating or even hostile, he doesn't sound like someone who wanted you to know his family. 139 votes, 208 comments. Originally, I thought I definitely wouldn't, but it seems the rest of the family will. I don’t see the point of going to an estranged parent’s funeral. Feb 27, 2018 · How do I handle seeing her at the funeral with grace, but without letting her violate my boundaries? I would like to go to the funeral to support some relatives that I'm still somewhat close with, and I missed my grandfather's funeral because I was out of the country years ago when he passed, so I'd feel very bad missing this as well. Sep 6, 2010 · Can you enter quietly and in the back, without drawing attention to yourself or the fact that you are there? The logistics of the funeral plan can have an influence on whether or not you go. There may be good reasons to restrict attendance and ban certain people. My estranged father died earlier this year and it was a very strange experience for me. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? In his book, The Kennedy Curse: Why Tragedy Has Haunted America's First Family for 150 Years, Klein claimed that the couple's problems reportedly stemmed from Bessette Kennedy's difficulty dealing with the media attention surrounding her and the marriage, accusations of infidelity, disagreements about having children, and her alleged cocaine Dec 1, 2021 · Polarised politics and a growing awareness of how difficult relationships can impact our mental health are fuelling family estrangement, say psychologists. Jan 17, 2022 · How to Approach an Estranged Sibling To promote understanding and reconciliation, estranged family members would benefit from: Sitting down together, face to face. Husband’s brother died, had to see many estranged family I posted on here a couple weeks ago about how my husband’s brother died and that their mother’s side of the family who was estranged to both of them for nearly a decade was coming out of the woodwork. Receiving the news of estranged family member's death can affect us in so many different ways. What was the relationship like when the person was alive? Feb 10, 2025 · Discover proper funeral etiquette for handling the death of estranged family members. My husband is the eldest and was distraught, as was his younger brother and all their cousins. Parenting is often considered one of the toughest and least recognized roles, but seeing your adult children grow up can make it all worthwhile. Should they say goodbye? Attend the funeral? Send flowers? Dec 20, 2023 · Explore the emotional impact: Will you regret not visiting a dying relative? Gain insights and make informed decisions. If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think… Apr 10, 2023 · The illness or death of an estranged family member can be vexing for surviving relatives. [35] Around 1500, the population of Europe was about 60–85 million people—no more than Jun 23, 2022 · People Are Candidly Opening Up About The Reasons Why They've Chosen To Become Estranged From Their Family "I came to realize that I don’t owe my parents anything — but I do owe myself the Jul 10, 2021 · My brother is keen for my family to move in with my mum to keep house for her but he intends to visit every fortnight and will also be coming for extended periods to wfh in his very important job (this involves hours of international zoom calls at all hours of the day - and the children have to be SILENT as he takes over the sitting room). I am estranged from nearly my entire family of origin, aside from my little sister. TL;DR Family is shit. Apr 5, 2021 · Funeral directors also face their own challenges when someone estranged dies, said Kari Northey, a funeral director in Wayland, Mich. So accompanying them might be fine, seeing as we all view him more or less the same way. Choosing to cut off a family member is a tough decision, to I don't see a problem with you attending a funeral to support your parents. Unfortunately, not all parents have strong A funeral attended by family members who minimise your abuse and/or gaslight your trauma is not helpful to your grieving - be guided by your instincts. Funeral Mass with priest, choristers, bearers or mourners, and a beggar receiving alms (c. Oct 14, 2011 · I went to an estranged father's (not mine) funeral last year, and the eulogy and conversations afterwards were honest -- the good qualities he did have were mentioned along with his significant flaws. Need help politely sending condolences and disappearing into my peaceful life again. Our relationship was estranged but I reached out to him in May this year as I had sensed something wasn’t right. Estranged mom is in hospice and I'm feeling kind of guilty I've never posted here, nor posted about my relationship with my mom, though I've lurked on my main account and also on the RBN sub. Jun 6, 2024 · 19 Real-Life Stories About People Who Decided To Rekindle A Relationship With An Estranged Family Member "I told my brother not to contact me again about her unless she was dead or dying. In fact it often opens up worse feeling of abandonment etc that can never be put right. 1. They have to demonstrate that they will bring value to the child's life. . 18 hours ago · Funeral. One of the most feared and traumatic situations adult children often face post-estrangement is the (impending) death of a parent or relative. If you’re not comfortable asking the family member in charge of planning the funeral about these issues, phone the funeral director and explain your Dec 10, 2025 · 'Landman' viewers appear to have had enough of Cooper Norris' girlfriend Ariana. Nov 23, 2020 · Family Scapegoat Estrangement Grief: Life After Low or No Contact - Check out the Glynis Sherwood blog page to learn more about family scapegoating, narcissitic abuse, and more. Entertainment Tonight (ET) is the authoritative source on entertainment and celebrity news with unprecedented access to Hollywood's biggest stars, upcoming movies, and TV shows. Going to the funeral of an estranged parent doesn't give closure. Sometimes people are not even notified of the death or arrangements. I didn't see my grandparents for about 3 years before I decided I simply must tell them about my transition. When a death occurs and the family is not intact, knowing how to reach out and deciding whether or not to attend the funeral or memorial service can be complicated. NC = No Contact, LC = Low Contact, VLC = Very Low Contact We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Pines. But I am concerned the situation will be very toxic, with my stepmom and her family trying to scapegoat my sister/Aunts/fathers family and vice versa. Allow yourself to feel each emotion, from sadness, guilt, loss, anger and remorse; even loving relationships usually hold some regrets! So now, a couple of weeks after the death of my own estranged father, honestly nothing has significantly changed for me. These culminated in a devastating pandemic known as the Black Death, which killed about one-third of Europe's population. What is the problem? I have a family event coming up (funeral) and my estranged parent will be thereI don't want to have to deal with them at what is already an emotional time. She began telling people that her parents now lived in Australia. On the day of funeral my siblings and BIL literally cornered me and hurled verbal diarrhoea in my face. Either way, don't beat yourself up about your father's death. So while I was incredibly close with my grandparents (her adoptive parents) they passed away before I ever became estranged. , with 18 years’ experience. Ethel died peacefully the next day. When nearly all the funerals I was going to were Catholic, I preferred to go to funeral masses over wakes. Here's why it happens, and whether estranged siblings should reconcile. Family hasn’t known me ever, and hasn’t had contact in a decade.

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